


... But Three's an Orgy

by mercurialMalcontent



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Oral Sex, Teasing, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-08-24
Packaged: 2017-11-12 19:11:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercurialMalcontent/pseuds/mercurialMalcontent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat and Sollux have to face it: there's one ablution chamber they need to return to to give it a proper scrubdown. Naturally, matters head south very fast... especially after Eridan turns up for round two.</p>
<p>A very accidental sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/221315">Iit Takes 2 Two Tiidy</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	... But Three's an Orgy

"You jutht can't wait to get all 'cleaned up', can you?"

Karkat fairly drags Sollux down the hallway by his wrist and tries to ignore the his snickering. "Shut up. For your information, we actually _do_ have an ablution chamber to clean. We keep avoiding one and people are starting to complain about it."

Sollux snorts. "Oh, will you relackth already? You thaw how fatht the room cleared when you athked for volunteerth. The moment you make noitheth about 'getting thith shitpile cleaned up,' everybody'th thuddenly thomewhere elthe. The oneth that have it figured out don't want to rithk _actually_ finding themthelveth thcrubbing load gaperth." He twists his wrist out of Karkat's grip and catches his hand instead. "Tho thlow down, we have plenty of time."

"Ugh, no we don't." Karkat resists Sollux's attempt to make him slow down and pulls him stumbling along behind him. "The less time I have to spend in _that_ ablution chamber, the better."

Sollux falls into step beside Karakt. "Thuuuure, and it'th not because your nook ith probably dripping already."

"It's because I don't need to relive the memories, so shut your windhole."

"Why, will they make it too hard to keep your pantth on until we get out of there?"

Karkat yanks his hand from Sollux's and slugs him in the shoulder. "Get fucked!"

"I think that'th your gig, bulgethlut," Sollux lilts as he gropes Karkat's ass.

Karkat jumps away and turns on his heel to glare. "You are so goddamned vile, you know that, Captor?"

Sollux leers back. "I _could_ be a lot worthe." A crackle of psionics runs ghost fingers over Karkat's bulge and into his nook. Karkat groans as his knees go so weak he has to catch himself against the wall. "Ehehe, thee?"

Karkat groans again and hides his face against the crook of his arm. "I have created a monster."

"Thayth the guy who dragth me away from my coding at leatht twithe a day." Sollux swats Karkat's ass to get him moving again.

"Lies and exaggerations, you drag me off more than I drag you off." Karkat smacks him in return and stomps the last few feet to the janitorial closet.

"You mean I get you off more than--"

"Don't even start with me, Captor--"

Their bickering only increases in intensity as they sort out ablution fluids, mops, rubber gloves, and the portable ablution trap. By the time they've hauled the lot to _that_ ablution chamber, the air between them is thick with spades and Karkat is very close to beaning Sollux with a mop before paddling him soundly with it.

"I don't know why you think you can get away with whining about the stains on your stupid mismatched shoe when _your_ genetic material is the reason I've had to alchemize two new pairs of jeans this week," Karkat snaps as he shoves a rag into Sollux's face.

"You wouldn't have had to alchemithe shit if you could wait long enough for me to get your pantth off, bulgethlut," Sollux sneers as he snatches the rag away.

"And that! What is that!" Karkat throws a bottle of ablution fluid at Sollux.

Sollux catches it neatly with his psionics and peers up at it. "Load gaper thcrub?"

"No, asshole, you calling me a bulgeslut, which are rich fucking words from the guy who was gagging for mine night before last! Where do you even get off with that??"

Karkat realizes his mistake as Sollux's eyes travel over Karkat's body, linger on his crotch, then travel up slowly before he licks his lips. "Where _don't_ I get off ith the better quethtion-- aww, KK, you're blushing!"

"I am _not_ ," Karkat says, despite the strong evidence to the contrary in how he feels hot all over.

Sollux leers. "Yettth, you are, and I bet your jeanth are feeling a bit tight?" He draws two fingers slowly through the air in front of him, and Karkat shudders as psionic ghosts of the same slip over the folds of his nook. "Maybe even a little..." He thrusts his fingers upward. "Damp?"

Karkat staggers back against an ablution basin as those psionic fingers sink into him. " _Sollux_ \--" He groans and sags against the basin as Sollux starts thrusting. "Oh g-god--"

"Ehehe. You're tho _eathy_ , KK, it'th almotht embarratthing." Those psionic fingers curl inside Karkat, and Karkat whines. "You're tho eathy I bet I could get you to drop trou in the middle of the lab."

"Fuck yo _oooh_ \--" Karkat's hips arch up against nothing as a second ghostly hand palms his bulge.

Sollux rubs at his own bulge through his jeans as he watches Karkat writhe. "I mean it, KK. I could be typing to you on Trollian and looking ath innothent ath could be while I fill your thcreen with dirty wordth and fuck you with my thionicth--"

"You _w-would_ molest me in front of everyone--"

"You bet your juithy butt I would, KK, and I'd pin you down while I wath at it tho you couldn't abthcond," Sollux says breathlessly. "I'd work you over until you begged for it from the whole room, and then I'd thrip you bare and let everyone have a go--"

" _No_ ," Karkat gasps even as his nook clenches with a very definite _yes_.

"No? Then maybe jutht a thelect few to ride the KK Ekthpretth?" Sollux snickers as Karkat bares his teeth. "TZ for thure – oh come on KK, I know how you feel about her – and NP, which means EQ too, becauthe he wath hatched to therve and I bet hith bulge ith _magnifithen_ t--"

"Nnnh," is all Karkat can manage in response, his mind taken up with visuals he doesn't want to have and likes far too much.

Sollux grins and licks his lips. "Hmmm, who elthe have you had your eyeth on..."

"I thought you'd end up here."

Karkat whines shamefully and slumps as the psionic hands evaporate and leave him empty. He glares at Sollux in a haze of angry confusion, but Sollux's attention is focused on the door. It takes him until that voice speaks again to register why.

"Kind a you two to run off and do the cleanin all yourselves." Eridan stands there bereft of cape and scarf but otherwise dressed, his earfins flushed bright purple. "But I been thinkin to myself, Ampora, are you reely too high and mighty to give your leader a hand in keepin things shipshape?" He crosses his arms and lifts his chin. "And the answer to that is no, I'm not too good to stay off a my hands and knees."

"Oh god, not you again," Karkat groans as he covers his eyes.

"Yeah, me." Eridans huffs. "Come on, Kar, I know you need help on the subject a me. You can't run away from your feelins forever."

" _Nnngh_." Karkat presses the heels of his hands against his eyes before sliding them down his face. "I don't HAVE any 'feelings' on the subject of you, aside from the ones that are occupied with how to get you off of my back."

Karkat realizes uncovering eyes was a mistake; Eridan is pouting at him now, and worse, Sollux is grinning. "Uh huh, not even feelingth that make you check out hith butt all of the time?"

Eridan nods sharply. "Those very feelins!"

"I do not check out his butt all of the time."

"Everytime I catch you lookin at me your peepers are firmly glued to my posterior."

That pout is making Karkat more angry by the second. He crosses his arms in a mirror of Eridan's posture and glares. "Eridan, the only possible reason my eyes would descend to your ass is to contemplate the mysteries of how you manage to fit that thing into skinny pants."

Eridan's purple blush spreads across his cheekbones. "Then you must be contemplatin that an awful lot, Kar, considerin how I've been feelin thoroughly mentally groped for the past week!"

Sollux squints thoughtfully as he moves to peer at Eridan's behind. "It'th a fair question, ED. They're tho tight I don't know how you don't have perma-wedgie."

Eridan turns to Sollux in outrage. "Sol, you stay out a--"

"My point exactly," Karkat says. "How do you even get those over your butt. It's a mystery for the ages."

"Kar, dammit--"

"Yeah." Sollux moves around Eridan again and rubs his chin. "They hug every tight curve."

Karkat spreads his hands in a shrug. "Precisely, they don't hide a thing."

Sollux looks up at Karkat and grins. "Wow, you _have_ been looking at hith atth a lot, KK."

"That's what I _said_!" Eridan says in exasperation.

Karkat goes hot all over – well, hotter – and glares at Sollux. "Whose side are you on, anyway?!"

"My own, of courthe. You ought to know by now I pretty much live to embarratth you."

Karkat balls his hands into fists. "You get off on embarrassing me."

"Fuck yeth I do." Sollux pushes past Eridan like he wasn't even there, his eyes locked on Karkat's.

Eridan blinks after him, his pout going all confused. "Uh, Kar?"

Karkat tenses himself for Sollux getting right into his face, but the bastard stops just out of arm's reach. "There'th nothing hotter than making you blush and knowing you're getting wet."

"Kar, I'm still right here."

Sollux's grin curls up at the corners in a way that's a come-on and a challenge all at once, and it makes Karkat furious. He snarls, "Just because I'm experiencing increased blood flow to my hearflaps--" Karkat loses his words with a gasp and a shudder as Sollux flicks a forefinger through the air and a psionic ghost of it strokes across the slit of his nook.

"Right here, listenin to you guys blackflirt..."

"Nothing hotter, unletth it'th lithening to you deny every thecond of it--" Psionic fingers thrust up into Karkat's nook again, just the way he likes it, and he has to clutch at the ablution basin as his knees nearly go out from under him. "--right up until you beg for my bulge."

"Not gettin _my_ needs met..."

Karkat looks up at Eridan, whose blush is more vibrant than ever. A a throb of shame goes right to Karkat's crotch as he croaks out, "Oh fuck, you're still –" Karkat squeezes his eyes shut as those psionic fingers thrust even harder into him, and he tries to strangle a moan. "– S-still here?"

"Nice a you to notice!" Eridan says shrilly.

Sollux looks over at Eridan. "Huh. Well, might ath well put him to good uthe."

"What?" Eridan says, plainly confused as Sollux moves over to him. Confusion turns to affront as Sollux drapes an arm around his shoulders. "Just water you doin?"

"I'm making a propothition."

Karkat's eyes widen. " _What?!_ Sollux, don't you d-- _aaaah_ \--" He slumps against the basin and gasps as Sollux's psionics speed. He tries to protest again, but it comes out a needy moan that makes Eridan gape.

"Ehehe." Sollux jostles Eridan to get his attention off of Karkat. "I propothe you go where your clumthy attemptth at theduction would never get you."

Oh fuck, Sollux really is going to do it. Karkat whines in what he hopes is protest. "Sol _lux_ \--"

Eridan bristles and pulls away. "It was a plan full a elegance and refinement until you walked in!"

Sollux snorts. "Yeah, thure, if your idea of eleganthe and refinement ith Troll Cothmo." He shakes Eridan again. "Thtop arguing and catch the clue I'm throwing your way, dumbfuck," he snaps as he gestures at Karkat.

Eridan stares like he just got a whole pile of Twelfth Perigee's Eve presents and he's not sure if he's worthy. If the tent in those stupid tight pants of his is any indication, though, he's enjoying the little show Sollux is putting on for him at Karakt's expense. Karkat yanks his gaze away to glare furiously at Sollux. "Captor, I'm going to serve you your own bulge on a _oh oh **oh god**_ \--" His knees nearly give way again as Sollux hits a sweet spot.

Sollux snickers and gives Eridan's shoulders a squeeze that nearly makes the seatroll stumble. "What do you say, KK?"

"I'd say you lick musclebeast assholes but that isn't depraved enough for you--"

"What wath that, KK?" Sollux cups a hand to his ear. "Thend Fishlipth packing tho we can clean the abluthion chamber?"

Eridan looks stricken, and it's infinitely hotter than any amount of his simpering ever had been. "God _damn_ it," Karkat gasps.

"K-kar...?"

"Thorry, ED. I tried, but you heard him," Sollux chirps as he turns Eridan around. "Run along now, there'th a douche." He gives Eridan a slap to the ass that makes the seatroll yelp and start.

"NO! N-no, _stop_ ," Karkat gasps.

Sollux just looks over his shoulder with a smirk, but Eridan actually turns, looking so shellshocked and vulnerable that Karkat has to cling to the ablution basin to keep himself from jumping him. "Fine, Sollux, you win, I want to stick at _least_ my tongue down Ampora's throat, are you happy now?"

Eridan flushes to his collarbones and stammers something incoherent. "Ehehe, I _knew_ it," Sollux says. He gives Eridan a shove, sending him stumbling into Karkat. "KK, you are the biggetht thlut. Thith ith going to be _awethome_."

Karkat manages an outraged sound before his attention is taken up by a sudden armful of blushing seatroll. Eridan blinks at him with equal parts disbelief and sheer terror as his hands settle nervously at Karkat's shoulders. "Uh. H-hi, Kar?"

"Hey," Karkat rasps. Wow, that hard-on pressing against his hip is entirely too distracting, as is, well, the rest of Eridan. Terrified and and trembling with lust looks really fucking good on him. Karkat runs a hand down Eridan's back and is rewarded with a shiver and a really tempting press of his hips. "So."

"So..."

"Tho _get on with it_ , for fuck'th thake. Thith ithn't a flushed drama."

"The peanut gallery will shut the fuck up," Karkat snaps. Sollux snickers, but Karkat ignores him as he continues, "There's only one person whose opinion I'm interested in at the moment, thank you very much."

Eridan bites his lip, but he's still so terrified looking that it's hot rather than embarrassingly coy. "I, um..." He takes a deep breath and lifts his chin. "Kiss me," he breathes.

It's a little overdramatic, but Eridan is so obviously suffering from a case of 'If you don't fuck me soon _I will die_ ' that Karkat doesn't care. "Yeah," he says, pressing Eridan against him and leaning in, lips parted and ready--

Only to bump right up against a pucker that could withstand a battering ram. Karkat draws back and stares at Eridan's absurdly squinched up face. "… Eridan, what the hell, man?"

Sollux peers over and bursts into laughter. "Oh my fucking god. Even Troll Cothmo can't be that inept! Fishlipth mutht have gotten that one off VK."

Eridan's eyes fly open and that ridiculous pout re-appears as he glares at Sollux. "Shut up!"

"Ehehehe _you totally did_ \--"

Karkat regains Eridan's attention by sliding his hand down to his ass. Eridan's breath catches and he trembles as Karkat feels him up a little. His ass is even nicer than it looks – firm, muscular, a really pleasant resistance when squeezed. Eridan looks at Karkat like he's the only thing in the world and _whimpers_ , and it's perfect. "That. Hold that expression," Karkat says, and leans in again.

A few swipes of Karkat's tongue gets Eridan's lips to part, and it only takes a few more tongue flicks for Eridan to start getting the right idea. He darts his tongue out to meet Karkat's, tentative little flicks that are half-terrified until he starts to relax.

"Oh, come on, what ith thith, a fenthing competition?"

Karkat flips Sollux off distractedly as Eridan finally does something with his hands and slips them into Karkat's hair. The way he strokes his fingers through is almost sappy, right up until he thrusts his tongue into Karkat's mouth. Karkat blurts a shocked sound that's all the more shocked in that Eridan _doesn't_ try to shove his tongue down his throat. No, Eridan has the right idea now, teasing and coaxing and exploring, and for all it's probably half-accidental it's still mind-blowing – not in the least because Eridan _paid attention to instruction_ for once. If Karkat had known that all he had to do to get Eridan to listen for once was kiss him...

… Well, he still would have balked. Maybe. It's hard for Karkat to be objective when he has a double handful of nice ass, and the owner of said ass is rutting against him while gasping needy little whines. At least, he thinks most of those are Eridan's.

"KK, you are _hilariouth_. Lithten to yourthelf! You'd fuck a muthclebeatht if I got you hot enough firtht. No, you'd fuck a _cholerbear_ , if it didn't mount you firtht you'd hump it into thubmitthion--"

Sollux continues to ramble on, but for Karkat it barely registers. Eridan has slipped his hands out of Karkat's hair to stroke and grope him greedily all over, which is so goddamned Eridan that Karkat would laugh if it weren't also basically the best thing ever. It's not just the hungry groping, it's the pleased little noises Eridan is making as he does it, and the absolutely delighted sound he makes as he cups and kneads Karkat's ass.

" _Mmmmmh_ ," Karkat moans into Eridan's mouth.

"Oh for fuck'th thake KK, all he did wath grab your butt, that'th nothing to cream yourthelf over."

Eridan squeezes and strokes Karkat's ass like he's worshiping it – hell, maybe he is, maybe if Karkat tells him to he'll get on his knees and worship him with his mouth. Oh fuck, he's tempted to demand Eridan put that tongue to work on his nook, those pouty lips around his bulge...

Karkat pulls away from Eridan's mouth with a gasp and says, "Still not too good to get on your hands and knees?"

Eridan goes wide-eyed and squeaks. "I-I. Said I wasn't, didn't I?"

"Just checking." Karkat pushes downward on Eridan's shoulders.

"Oh no fucking way, you are _not_ letting that shark'th maw near your bulge, are you?" Sollux gapes at Karkat as Eridan drops to his knees in front of him. "You are, holy _shit_ ," Sollux says in horrified disbelief, then hand he's been palming his bulge with clamping around it protectively. "You are tho going to regret thith, and you know what, I am jutht going to laugh at you."

Eridan side-eyes Sollux with a pout. Karkat, however, simply undoes his jeans. "Did you hear something, Eridan?"

"What?" Eridan shifts his attention back to Karkat, flushing abruptly as Karkat pushes his jeans past his hips. "N-no, must a been the ventilation or, or somefin."

"You are going to be _tho thorry_."

Eridan stares at Karkat's bulge hungrily. Karkat is almost starting to regret this idea when Eridan leans in and licks up the side of his bulge. "… _Oh_ ," Karkat gasps. He cups the back of Eridan's head as he licks up Karkat's bulge again and again, faster and sloppier each time until he's slurping it like a wiggler with a melting ice cream. It ought to be ridiculous, but watching Eridan lick and suck at him is exactly the opposite, and it feels so good Karkat is panting from it in seconds. "Oh. _Oh_. Oh god--"

"He doethn't have the faintetht clue what he'th doing, you know!"

Eridan slides his mouth down onto Karkat's bulge. "Oh my sweet glistening fuck," Karkat moans.

"He'th going to thcrew up and bite it!"

Threat of teeth or no, Karkat can't help but thrust into Eridan's mouth, and Eridan sure doesn't try to stop him. He leans into it until he gags, then _whines_ and looks up at Karkat in this pouty-apologetic way that is so disturbingly hot Karkat nearly spills into him right then. " _Eridan_ \--"

" _Mmmh_ ," Eridan echoes.

"Oh fuck, why ith thith hot?" Sollux says despairingly. "Why are you doing thith to me? Ugh, are you even _lithtening_??"

"Did-- _nngh_. Did you say something?" Karkat gasps.

"Mm-mm. Mmmmh..."

"I didn't mean you-- Oooh god--" Karkat twitches at a pulse of psionics up his nook and glances up. "Ah. S-sollux. Feeling a little-- _nnh_ \-- lonely?"

Sollux huffs, but a sly smirk twists his lips as he steps behind Eridan. "Nah. I can't let poor ED thit down there and thuffer with hith bulge all aching and unattended, after all."

Eridan's eyes go wide and he pulls back to gasp, "Sol, don't you fuckin **dare** \--"

"Pff, I'm jutht trying to help--"

Karkat bares his teeth. "Go help yourself, over there, in the corner," he snarls, pointing so that Sollux knows damn sure where he should go.

"Oh, tho now you're having fun without me and you want me to go away, even though if it weren't for me you wouldn't be getting thucked off in the firtht plathe." Sollux steps back and crosses his arms. "That'th jutht fucking fine."

There is something painfully familiar about Sollux's posture and attitude. Something very... ten minutes ago. Karkat glances down at Eridan, then back up at Sollux, and bursts out laughing.

"What??" Eridan says, all hurt offense.

" _What?!_ " Sollux barks.

"L-look at yourself, Captor!" Karkat gestures at Sollux as he tries to swallow his giggles. "Remind you of anyone?" He strokes his fingers through Eridan's hair and leers.

Sollux blinks, then hurriedly uncrosses his arms and balls his hands into fists. "God, I hate you."

"Oh baby, I _know_."

"Are you two fightin over me?" Eridan says.

Karkat stills. "What."

Sollux facepalms. "Oh my god."

Eridan sits back on his heels, his prim expression somewhat ruined by the red smear at one corner of his mouth. "Gentlemen, I know I'm a fine catch, but this is the wrong time for a fight what with Kar bein in such a state and all," he says, gesturing to Karkat's bulge. "And Sol," he continues, ignoring Karkat's groan of embarrassment, "I appreciate the thought but you gotta give a man time to consider. You can't just go sneakin up behind him and grabbin his goods."

"ED, you are the wrong goddamned perthon to be lecturing me on etiquette!"

"It's not like I went grabbin at Kar unasked," Eridan huffs.

"I can't believe this is happening," Karkat says faintly.

"Now, now, Kar, I'll get back to you once all a this is resolved," Eridan says, patting his hip.

Sollux sneers at Eridan. "Yeth, if ED has any will to live after I've thoroughly dethtroyed hith thupid notionth that I want anything to do with him, he will get back to being a good little bulge licker."

"Cod damn it, Sol, you were five seconds away from gettin your grubby mitts all over my priceless--"

"Will you two SHUT THE FUCK UP?" Karkat glares furiously at the other two trolls. "For two guys who were both falling all over themselves to fuck me, you sure have gotten in a grand battle of egos over which of _you_ are the most desirable!"

"Well it's a fair question--" Eridan begins.

Karkat fists his hands in his own hair. "No! No, it's not fucking fair! You were in the middle of _sucking me off_!"

"Uh, you're goin kind a shrill, Kar--"

"After _that_ dumbass pushed you at me!" Karkat gestures so sharply at Sollux the other troll flinches. "I think that says a little something!!"

Sollux glares back, his lower lip sticking out."It thayth that I got you hot and bothered enough to be that dethperate--"

Eridan bristles. "He wasn't fuckin _desperate_ , he was findin comfort in my arms after you teased him somefin fierce--"

"Like hell he wath--"

"Like hell I wasn't!" Karkat shouts.

Eridan smirks at Sollux. "Oooh, burn."

Sollux, however, doesn't look so much burnt as thoughtful. "You know, KK, you're right. I've let my thpade baby down after all."

"I-- what, don't call me that."

"Hey, ED."

" _What_."

"Chill, dude, I have another propothition for you." Sollux smirks at Eridan in a way Karkat doesn't like at all. "How about we put our differentheth athide and do thomeone we can both agree on?" He gestures at Karkat.

"Hey," Karkat protests weakly.

"Sol, for once in your short mudsuckin life you've had a good idea," Eridan says, beaming. "Now, where was I... Oh." Eridan regards Karkat's wilted erection sympathetically. "Kar, your poor bulge. Lemme fix that for you."

Karkat ineffectually tries to back up into the ablution basin. "No, no, too late, this has gotten way too weir-- oh. _Oh_." He shudders as Eridan sucks lightly on his bulge, which is having no problems whatsoever with the situation. "Oh my fuck. _Oooh_ \--"

Sollux grins as he steps over to Karkat. "Heh. That'th my KK."

"I am not your anything, Capto-- _mmh_ \--" Karkat's protesting dissolves to nothing as Sollux kisses him, all sharp little bites and thrusting tongue. He groans as Sollux thrusts his tongue deep and is left panting when he suddenly withdraws.

"Bulgethlut," Sollux whispers into his ear.

"Fuck y-- _oooh_ \--" Karkat's hips jerk as psionics thrust into him.

"What wath that, KK?" Sollux says he as kneels beside Eridan and works Karkat's pants the rest of the way off. "'Fuck me'?"

Karkat grits his teeth. "N-n-nnnnh aah aaah _Eridan_ \--!" He whines as Eridan draws back from his bulge.

"You gotta ask nicely, Kar," Eridan says sweetly as he strokes the inside of Karkat's thigh.

"Wow, mean," Sollux says approvingly as he rubs his fingers over the lips of Karkat's nook.

"You are both utter fucking _bastards_ ," Karkat gasps.

"Sadly, Kar, we're only one a the two until you give us the say-so." Eridan pouts and licks the end of Karkat's bulge, not quite hiding the devious smirk at Karkat's strangled whine.

Karkat clenches his jaw and squeezes his eyes shut, but that doesn't do a damned thing to help him resist the teasing of Eridan's tongue or Sollux's fingers. All too soon he's quivering and whimpering despite himself, aching from the force of the previous two buildups combined. "F-fine, FINE, fuck me already, just, please, _hurry up_ \--"

"You heard the man," Sollux says, standing before licking his fingers off. "Let'th get him off before he popth a cog."

"Oh like you two aren't bursting out of your pants at the thought of getting inside me," Karkat huffs. Eridan, who's just gotten his pants over his hips, blushes as purple as his absurdly perky bulge. Karkat notes with dismay that it's _cute_. No one should have a cute bulge, much less Eridan fucking Ampora, and he definitely should not be aching at the thought of Eridan fucking him, but there he was. Staring at it.

"You, uh, like it, Kar?"

"He lookth like he wantth to ride you into the thunrithe, ED, what do you think," Sollux says flatly. He jostles Karkat. "Come on, do I have to organithe everything around here?"

"Well I'm obviously not in control anymore so what do _you_ think, Sollux."

"Maybe I could do some organizin--"

"No," Karkat and Sollux say simultaneously. "You, thit down," Sollux says, pointing at the floor.

"What, there?" Eridan says in disbelief.

Sollux stops and stares, his zipper halfway down. "Doeth it look like there'th concupithcnt platformth in here?"

"There's benches!" Eridan points.

"You'll fall off."

Karkat puts his hands over his face and groans. "Holy fuck you two I am dying here!"

"Oh, oh shit Kar, sorry--" Eridan takes Karkat's hands and kisses his fingers, and, when Karkat looks at him in surprise, his lips. "Mmh..."

Karkat follows Eridan, and his mouth, down to the floor, scarcely parting from Eridan's lips as he straddles his lap and rubs his nook against that bulge. He's blushing hot from the shame of how bad he wants Eridan and how little he's able to hide it, but the shocked, desperate noise Eridan blurts makes the shame worth it.

"Kar, _Karkat_ , oh fuck please--"

More than worth it.

"Come on, KK, go for it," Sollux murmurs into Karkat's ear as he settles beside him and squeezes Karkat's ass.

Karkat can't shut the litany of _fuck fuck this is so fucked up_ from his pan as he ruts against Eridan until the seatroll's voice is shaking as he begs, as Sollux licks his neck and chuckles like he orchestrated this entire fucking thing, but damn if that doesn't make it even harder not to gasp needy little moans. It's fucking embarrassing how much he's dying for this, but as he finally, fucking _finally_ thrusts himself down onto Eridan's bulge, it feels so incredibly right that for now, he stops caring entirely.

"Kar, _Kar_ , oh fuck oh fuckin god Kar," Eridan babbles against Karkat's neck in between sloppy kisses. His hands roam frantically over Karkat's thighs as Karkat rides him for all he's worth and everything he isn't. "Oh god you're fuckin perfect--"

"Yeah, he'th pretty awethome," Sollux says as he presses up behind Karkat. "Wow KK, your atth ith _really_ hot from thith angle."

Karkat groans as Sollux starts stroking his bulge against Karkat's asshole. "You're fucking depraved--"

"Y-you love it--"

Karkat hates it that he does love it. It's fucking mindblowing to have the slick tip of Sollux's bulge rubbing him light and fast there while Eridan is fucking up into his nook. He groans and bucks fast, pushing his ass harder against Sollux's bulge, crying out as Sollux pumps himself hard against him.

"There'th my thluth," Sollux says, and chuckles as Karkat _moans_.

Eridan has gone from gasped babbling to panting whimpers, and Karkat knows from how frantically fast he's moving his hips that he's about gone. "Kar, Kar oh please--" He's a gorgeous mess, his glasses lost somewhere, his hair in complete disarray and half in his face. Karkat's nook clenches as he imagines how Eridan's going to look even better dripping with Karkat's red.

It's a relief for Karkat to stroke his bulge fast and hard, gasp out those frantic needy sounds he can't hold back, give himself to the boys pounding into and against him as he moans their names over and over – then he's gone, quaking with pleasure so good it hurts as he pours himself out. Under him, Eridan _wails_ and writhes as he follows, and Sollux is just after, clutching at Karkat as he empties himself out against him.

Karkat slumps, eyes shut and panting, feeling too empty, too exhausted, too _good_ for anything else to reach him. Of course it comes back bit by bit, as it always does; he's uncomfortable, the floor is hard and cold, he's disgustingly sticky and sweaty and the only saving grace is that they're in an ablution chamber, Sollux is leaving whispery kisses on the back of his neck, Eridan is petting his thighs.

Huh.

He doesn't want to break the moment, so he keeps his eyes shut until Eridan goes stiff under him. The seatroll is looking down at his torso with dismay. "Oh **cod** , my clothes are ruined!"

Sollux snorts into Karkat's hair. "Welcome to club KK Ekthpretth, where thith happenth every damn time."

"Think about how _I_ feel," Karkat grumbles. He gestures down at his groin and Eridan looks mortified. It's precious, and Karkat hates himself a little for noticing it.

"Hey, at leatht your pantth got clear thith time." Sollux slaps Karkat's ass as he moves away. "Come on, boyth, off to the showerth!"

Eridan grimaces at Sollux as he moves away, then looks Karkat over and bites his lip. "… Do we gotta right _now_?" he asks as he cups Karkat's hips.

Karkat stares a moment, then runs his hands down Eridan's arms. "It's cold, we're sticky, and the floor is hard."

Eridan hmms. "I'm kinda okay with that."

"You know, funny thing? So am I," Karkat says as he leans down for a kiss.

"Oh god you two, not again," Sollux yells from down the hallway.


End file.
